


JiHanCheol ~ Breathe

by WhenLifeGetsYouDown



Series: Seventeen One Shots [6]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, as well as a little googling for more severe cases, i have anxiety myself so i used my own experiences, jisoo has severe anxiety, just a conversation about it, mentions of past sexual abuse, mentions of physical abuse, no actual scene, seungcheol and jeonghan care about him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenLifeGetsYouDown/pseuds/WhenLifeGetsYouDown
Summary: Jisoo struggled to cope until he met Seungcheol and Jeonghan.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: Seventeen One Shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030605
Kudos: 55





	JiHanCheol ~ Breathe

He'd been here many times before. The heavy darkness surrounding his body, chest tightened and breathing laboured as he could barely focus on any little thing. Muffled noises echoing around him, words of comfort turning into ridicule targeted at his trembling frame. The same flashes images struck him repeatedly, the same memories that continuously haunted his broken mind.

The numb feeling across his body would slowly fade away and he'd begin to feel again, he'd feel the tightness in his chest and the pain spreading across his head as his brain begged for the much-needed oxygen. His fingers would ache from clenching so hard that his fingernails would break the skin on his palms and his legs would begin to shake.

He'd lost count of how many times he'd ended up in this position, curled in on himself as fear and pain coursed through his veins. Multiples times a day, when the sun was high or when the moon was lit, he'd find himself in the exact same state. Scared. Alone.

And every time he would wait, wait for himself to calm down. It normally took hours, his body so emotionally unstable that he couldn't focus enough on his breathing to calm himself down quicker. His mind would wander. He would sob, scream and beg until he finally passed out from exhaustion and dehydration.

Waking up would be a blur, his head would ache, and his body would feel sore until the painkillers finally kicked in. He hated it. He hated fearing everything that moved but he couldn't help it, his mind was a broken mess and to him, nothing could fix him. Jisoo was all alone.

His parents were barely around, he understood they needed to work but attending three business trips in a row, missing both Christmas and Jisoo's birthday was a little unfair. Jisoo couldn't remember the last time he'd spoken to his parents, let alone seen them, even after the incident.

It had been over a year since that fateful day, the day that his panic attacks began and fuelled his body with uncontrollable fear. He'd spent several weeks following that day in the hospital, with which he only saw his parents once when they'd come to pay for the bill on his discharge day.

They lectured him, told him that he'd cost them a lot of money because of his mistake. He wished to tell them the truth of what had happened, but the fear of being judged and laughed at scared him the most. So, he kept it to himself, apologising quietly before heading to his room. Where no one could hurt him.

Almost a year later and Jisoo was no better than the first day after the incident, every loud noise still made him flinch and anyone within five feet of him put him on edge. It was one day when he'd been taken by his father to look at the local University when Jisoo realised he couldn't stay in his hometown anymore.

His parents told him he had to think about his future, he wasn't allowed to hide away in his bedroom anymore, but as soon as he set foot in the local University, he froze. There they were, the people that put him in hospital and ruined his life.

They saw him almost immediately, sending each other glances and sharing soft laughs as they remembered the fun they'd had that day. Jisoo couldn't stand it, he couldn't breathe as he saw the leader of the group begin walking towards him. So he ran.

His parents were angry, annoyed that their son refused to leave the house and attend the University they wanted him too. They were happy when Jisoo announced a few weeks later that he'd applied for a University, however, the happiness soon turned to surprise when they found out it was in a different country.

Jisoo expected to be forced to stay in his hometown, but his parents surprised him when they told him they'd fund his move to Seoul and pay for his tuition and accommodation. He put up with everything they did following his application, he held strong through the extravagant party his parents held to congratulate his success on getting into the major University.

He stayed strong until he finally left.

His parents had told him everything they thought he needed to know, they told him what day his plane left and who would pick him up. They neglected to tell him, however, that he would have a roommate in his University dormitory.

So when he turned up at his new home for at least the next year, he did not expect to be face to face with a boy the tiniest bit taller than him and completely shirtless with only a tight pair of black briefs protecting Jisoo from any ungodly sight.

"You must be my roommate. I wasn't expecting you for another hour or so, hence why I'm not wearing any clothes." The boy spoke first after almost a minute of awkward silence and staring as Jisoo tried to figure out what was going on and why this boy was in his room.

Jisoo opened his mouth to reply to the boy, mainly with a question on who he was, but his anxiety crept up and he instead turned to make sure he'd entered the right room. He had, after checking the number on the door, and turned back to face the boy who was watching him silently.

"Uh... Your bed is over there. I hope you don't mind that I picked my bed already, I got here yesterday so I already slept in mine." The boy spoke up once more as Jisoo still remained silent, frowning as the younger just nodded and placed his bags and large suitcase on the empty bed.

The boy realised Jisoo must not be a talkative person, so he moved away to get dressed instead. Jisoo quietly began unpacking his belongings, making the bed first since he planned on having an early night before the welcome week started at their University.

"My names Seungcheol," his head perked up from unpacking his clothes as the boy spoke again, he turned to face him and was surprised to see him bowing quite deeply to him before standing straight again. "I hope we get along, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Jisoo swallowed thickly, his anxiety building up as his fingers twitched and the skin on his arms began to itch. The boy, or Seungcheol as he now knew, seemed to focus on his fingers as soon as they moved to scratch as the skin covering his wrists and concern flittered in his eyes.

A minute passed with no response as Jisoo tried to stop himself from having a panic attack and Seungcheol grew embarrassed with the lack of response. The taller coughed awkwardly and picked up his wallet and phone before heading towards the door.

"I uh... I'll be back in a few hours." The door shut seconds later and Jisoo tried to catch his breath before he fell into a full-on panic attack. He managed to stop himself from falling into a panic attack, deciding to focus on finishing unpacking before another panic attack started.

Jisoo slowly began unpacking his belongings, by the time he'd finished it was dark outside and he was exhausted. He decided to head to bed early, it was only eight pm but he frankly didn't care. He was soon showered and ready for bed, curling up under the covers with his rabbit plushie.

Night-time was Jisoo's least favourite time of the day, the time when his mind would be filled with nightmares derived from the memories of that horrible day. If Jisoo was lucky he'd get two or three hours of sleep a night. It wasn't long before the nightmare began, his body beginning to sweat as he thrived and kicked at the blankets covering his trembling frame.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been trapped in his nightmare but he was suddenly wide awake, the curtains were still drawn and the room was still dark. The only difference from when he'd first climbed into bed was the pair of worried brown eyes watching him from beside his bed.

"Are you okay?" Seungcheol asked softly, his tone stayed quiet to not spook the boy any more than he already was. He'd arrived home mere minutes before, shocked to find Jisoo thrashing and screaming in his bed with the covers flung across to the other side of the room.

When the boy didn't answer and began breathing heavily, Seungcheol quickly got the boy to sit up on the bed. Jisoo felt his chest tightening, his cheeks wet from a mixture of sweat and salty tears as he sobbed. His head clouded with fear until he felt a soft hand cup his cheek.

His eyes flicked up as the hand gently nudged his chin up, their eyes connected as Seungcheol used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the stray tears on the boy's pale cheeks. Jisoo swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes for a moment to take in the soft touches before his eyes connected with Seungcheol's once more.

"Just breathe okay? Copy what I'm doing." Seungcheol spoke softly, breathing in and out slowly, he smiled as Jisoo copied him with his own shaky breaths and relaxed once the boy was breathing easier.

Seungcheol moved away slightly once the boy calmed down, pausing as the younger whimpered as he did so. Jisoo felt his cheeks flush with heat as he whimpered, stuttering out an almost silent apology as his fists clenched in his lap.

"It's alright," Seungcheol took the boy's hands in his before smiling warmly at the younger. "I'm just grabbing a blanket alright?" Jisoo slowly nodded, watching as Seungcheol grabbed a rather fluffy looking grey blanket from his own bed before sitting beside Jisoo as he wrapped the blanket around the younger.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes as Jisoo tried to keep his breathing steady, his eyes flicked up as Seungcheol laid a hand on his lap and he was quick to push it away. Seungcheol paused at the action but didn't say anything as Jisoo curled in on himself.

"I know we don't know each other, hell I don't even know your name... But... I really hope we can be friends." Seungcheol murmured as Jisoo stared at his lap silently, the boy peered up at him shyly before playing with his fingers quietly.

"My name is Jisoo," the voice was timid and almost silent but it was a start and that's all they needed for the bond to start forming.

The first week of University passed with ease, Jisoo kept to himself at the back of his classes and the only person he'd spoken to so far was Seungcheol and the lecturer himself. He enjoyed the course, Literature had always been his favourite subject and he enjoyed being able to read so many different books.

It was during his second week when he realised the mistake of choosing Literature when his lecturer began discussing the main concept of the book they'd read that week. The book had been about a murder but the underlying theme that the lecturer decided to discuss was one that sent chills down Jisoo's spine.

Jisoo felt his mind cloud with memories once more as the screen at the front of the lecture hall displayed a picture from the movie adaption of the book where the murder victim threatened to hurt his partner. Jisoo's eyes landed on the tightly clenched fist and before he knew it his mind was clouded and he felt like he was about to pass out.

He wanted to leave, he wanted to run back to his dorm room where he knew Seungcheol would be so that the boy could use whatever magic powers he had to calm him down like he had done every day for the last week and a half.

However, he was seated right at the back of the room, the door to leave was at the front and he frankly didn't feel like walking passed his entire class when he was struggling to breathe. He tried Seungcheol's usual method, picturing the boy sat in front of him helping him control his breathing but it wasn't working.

Jisoo flinched as something touched his leg, his eyes shot up and he was met with a concerned-looking boy with gorgeous long hair. The boy didn't say anything at first, he just smiled and took one of Jisoo's hands in his own before rubbing small circles on the back of his hand.

The boy pulled away for a moment to grab something from his jacket pocket, he pulled out a pack of tissues and removed one before raising it to Jisoo's face. The younger flinched and backed away slightly, watching the boy closely who didn't seem concerned by Jisoo's reaction and waited patiently.

The lights in the room suddenly turned back on and Jisoo noticed that the lecture had ended, he quickly used the palms of his hands to wipe away the tears on his cheeks and grabbed his belongings before rushing out of the classroom.

Jisoo paused outside of the room, the corridor was full of people and he could feel his panic attack growing more and more. This was the last thing he needed. He could feel eyes drifting to his thin frame as he used the wall beside him for support.

He tensed as an arm wrapped itself around his waist and looked up quickly, the long-haired boy from before watched him with concerned eyes as he held the boy up to stop him from collapsing. Jisoo wanted to push him away, but as his legs buckled slightly under him he was glad to have the support.

"Let's go outside, there are fewer people there." He said softly, Jisoo nodded his head and allowed the boy to help him walk outside. He was soon sat on one of the wooden benches outside of the University, it was near a large fountain that was the main focal point of the University grounds.

The boy crouched in front of him and held his hands loosely, allowing Jisoo to move away if he wanted too, but instead, all Jisoo did was tighten his grip on the boy's delicate hands. He focused on the hands, admiring the long fingers and soft skin as he tried to calm himself down.

"Do you want me to call someone?" Jisoo looked up as the boy spoke and he nodded his head quickly, at times like this he wanted Seungcheol by his side. He didn't want to be selfish by making the boy help him every time he had a panic attack, but the older had frequently told him that he wanted to help.

The boy apparently already had Seungcheol's number as he quickly called the boy as soon as Jisoo had uttered his name. It wasn't long before the dark-haired boy was running over to where they were, quickly gathering Jisoo in his arms before checking if he was okay. As soon as he deemed that Jisoo was okay, he turned to face the blonde beside them.

"Thank you Jeonghan, I owe you one." Jisoo peered up at the now named boy, blushing as he was sent a small smile by the boy before his attention turned to Seungcheol. Jeonghan laughed it off, saying he was happy to help before saying he'd message the other later.

A few days passed and Jisoo was sat at the desk within the dorm room, typing away on his laptop with many sheets of paper surrounding him on both the desk surface and floor below. Seungcheol had left minutes before to get them snacks and drinks from the store across the road, so when he entered with Jeonghan, Jisoo was more than confused.

"I bumped into Jeonghan downstairs, he wanted to know if you were okay so I brought him up. Is that okay?" Seungcheol answered the confused look sent to him by Jisoo, afraid he'd overstepped by allowing Jeonghan access to their room since he knew Jisoo was extremely shy.

"Hello Jisoo, I won't stay too long, Seungcheol told me you don't like strangers. I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better after the other day." Jeonghan spoke up from beside the older, sending Jisoo a friendly smile to which he couldn't help but reciprocate.

"I'm fine. Thank you for helping me." He replied softly, Seungcheol walked over and ruffled his hair lightly before peering over at the many notes scribbled across the paper on the table.

"Did you make any progress?" Jisoo wanted to slap him but instead just pouted and shook his head, his eyes landed on Jeonghan as the boy stepped a little closer and glanced at the papers.

"Oh! Are you doing Ovid's Metamorphoses as well? That was my choice." Jeonghan picked up the book placed beside the boy's laptop and scanned over the contents briefly. Jisoo nodded his head to the question, honestly having forgotten that Jeonghan was in his class.

"I forgot you did Literature as well Jeonghan, maybe you could help Jisoo? He's been stuck on this for over two hours." Seungcheol said as he gently massaged Jisoo's tense shoulders, almost telling him to relax as he did so.

"Sure! I finished yesterday so I'm free to help you. Only if you want me too though." The boy seemed to lose his excitement towards the end as he realised Jisoo might be uncomfortable with him helping, but to his surprise, Jisoo just smiled and gratefully accepted.

The day ended with Jisoo submitting the tedious essay before curling up on his bed with Seungcheol and Jeonghan as they watched a movie on Netflix to unwind after the stress and exhaustion of Literature.

Jisoo didn't know what happened after the movie had ended, but he somehow awoke the next morning curled up in the arms of both Jeonghan and Seungcheol. He was embarrassed and a little shy, but watching the pair of the sleep-filled him with a sense of warmth, a feeling he wouldn't mind getting used too.

He was amazed how close they got to Jeonghan after that night, the boy would frequently come to their dorm, stating that his own roommate was not half as fun to hang out with as Jisoo and Seungcheol were.

After the first year of University passed, the three were inseparable, they spent almost every second of every day together. Jeonghan basically lived with them by that point. When they had to move out of the University provided accommodation, the three decided to get a flat together to save money.

Although they were extremely close, Jisoo still hadn't had the courage to tell his best friends the truth about why he was so anxious and shy. Why he couldn't sleep through the night without one of them by his side to comfort him. Why he wouldn't change in front of them or accept their offer to share showers to save water.

It was during their second year of University, approximately six months of living together in their three-bedroomed flat (although Jisoo never slept in his own room) when he found himself frozen in the doorway after just coming back from the library. He expected to find either Jeonghan or Seungcheol waiting for him with a grin like usual.

He did not expect to walk in on the pair feverishly making out on the grey couch they owned, hair messy and Seungcheol's shirt on the ground. The pair immediately jumped up from the couch as they spotted Jisoo, rushing over to explain themselves as the boy just stared at the couch cushions.

"Jisoo please just say something," Seungcheol begged after the boy had stood frozen in shock for over three minutes. The youngest blinked before looking up at the pair, he saw the terrified expressions and ignored the tightness in his chest.

"Are you dating?" They nodded. "How long?" Jisoo pushed away the gnawing at his chest as the pair mumbled something about three months. "Okay. That's fine." The pair looked at him in surprise at the blunt response. "I'm going to bed early."

They tried to grab the boy's hand but were quickly shrugged off as the boy bolted to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Jeonghan teared up at the reaction from the younger, wanting to follow him but stopped as Seungcheol just shook his head and led him towards the couch instead.

Jisoo gasped as he collapsed on the floor as soon as his bedroom door had shut, choking on a sob that clawed at his throat before trying to stop himself from creating any noise. He felt his eyes burn from fast-falling tears and buried his face in his knees as his chest tightened, he'd gone five weeks without a panic attack but tonight his streak broke.

He didn't know how long had passed but it was dark now and his face and shirt were soaked with tears. He figured he must have passed out or something and wondered why he'd woken up when he suddenly heard a soft knock on his bedroom door.

"Shua? Are you awake?" He heard Seungcheol's soft voice followed by what he guessed was the sniffles of a crying Jeonghan. He felt bad, he didn't want to make either of them upset but the news of the pair dating for the last three months just threw him off.

"Shua please open the door." Jeonghan whimpered out which made Jisoo's heart clench and made him hate himself even more. Jisoo glanced at the door before standing slowly as the pair asked him to open the door again.

He could easily ignore them, pretend he'd fallen asleep, but he wanted to know what they had to say. He wanted to know what they planned to do if he opened the door. He was scared but he trusted them with his life, so as he heard them sigh and start to walk away, he opened the door.

The pair snapped their heads back to Jisoo's door as they heard the familiar click of the door opening. Their hearts ached when they saw the boy's trembling frame step out, tear tracks fresh on his cheeks as his shirt soaked.

"Oh, Shua..." Jeonghan let out a relieved sigh as he walked over and wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. The younger tried to stay strong but his emotions overwhelmed him as he was embraced by the older and he was soon sobbing once more.

He was soon curled up on Seungcheol's bed with the pair laid beside him, Seungcheol was gently stroking his hair as Jeonghan rubbed small circles on his side. The pair exchanged concerned looks before focusing on Jisoo as the boy spoke.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so upset. I'll be fine tomorrow." Jisoo said softly, nuzzling into Seungcheol as the boy inched as close as he could to the younger. The older sighed, moving his hand to lace fingers with Jisoo.

"Are you upset because we are dating or because we didn't tell you?" The question caught Jisoo off guard, he stayed quiet for a moment before pondering the question. Jeonghan took Jisoo's other hand and held it tightly to get the boy to look up at him.

"Would you be mad if I said the first one?" The pair watched him for a moment as he answered before chuckling fondly, they shook their heads in sync and watched as Jisoo's expression turned to one of confusion and slight hopefulness.

"Would you be mad if we told you we wanted to include you in our relationship?"

Jisoo froze at the words, his eyes snapping up immediately to look at the pair hovering above him. Their eyes showed nothing but sincerity and Jisoo felt his heart swell at the admission from the oldest of the trio.

"Y-You... What?" He questioned as the statement hovered in his mind for a second and still didn't seem to make any sense. The pair exchanged a brief smile before they each smiled at Jisoo, cupping either cheek with their hands.

"We have feelings for you. We would like it if you would accept our offer to be our boyfriend." Jeonghan spoke softly, running his hand through the youngers soft brown hair before leaning down to press a soft kiss against his cheek which had the boy blushing.

"We know it's a lot to take in, but we had to tell you. We've had feelings for you since we met you Shua, we just didn't want to act on it because of how anxious you were all the time." Seungcheol admitted quietly, Jisoo was amazed to see the older shy, normally he was confident with his head held high. He must be serious.

"We bonded over our feelings for you and grew feelings for each other as time passed. That's why we started dating a few months ago, we wanted to tell you straight away but we didn't know how you felt about us." Jeonghan explained before brushing a stray hair away from Jisoo's forehead.

"S-So you like me?" Jisoo asked, sitting up slightly on the bed as the pair moved to sit in front of him. The pair glanced towards each other before Seungcheol leaned forward to kiss Jisoo ever so gently on the lips. Before Jisoo could even react, the boy had pulled away and was replaced with Jeonghan as the boy stole a kiss from the younger as well.

"We don't just like you Shua, we love you." The confession made his chest tighten but not in the same way it usually does. Instead of pain and fear, all he felt was warmth and love building intensely within him.

He couldn't answer them but he didn't need too, instead he just pulled the pair into a tight hug, hoping to convey his feelings without having to speak them out loud. Luckily the pair understood, they knew he struggled to express his thoughts so they accepted his hug and leaned down to kiss him once more to close the deal.

Their first date as a trio went well, they had dinner at a lovely restaurant near the University and finished by visiting the Seoul Tower that overlooked the entire area. Jisoo had always talked about wanting to see the view from the very top so the pair took him for their first date.

The night view was amazing and had Jisoo gasping, it was beautiful and his eyes wouldn't leave the gorgeous nightlights shining from below them. Jeonghan and Seungcheol watched with fond eyes, taking pictures of their beloved.

They arrived home in a giggling mess, falling over each other as they collapsed on the couch as soon as they reached the soft material. Jisoo blushed as the pair instantly began littering his face with sweet kisses and the three fell asleep in the warm embrace of each other, a thin blanket covering them.

During their third year at University, on their first anniversary as boyfriends, Jeonghan and Seungcheol approached Jisoo with a sensitive topic. Sex. The boy had always stayed clear of the subject, avoiding everything related to it.

He would push their hands away if they disappeared under his shirt, he would avoid any situation where they might see him naked. It'd been an entire year if their relationship and they hadn't even seen him without a shirt on. However, they didn't mind, they didn't want to force it him to do anything he was uncomfortable with.

So they were surprised when, one night whilst making out on their now shared king-sized bed, Jisoo didn't push them away as their kisses moved down his neck. In fact, the lack of reaction stunned them so much that the pair pulled themselves away.

"Shua... Are you okay?" Jeonghan asked softly, watching as the boy blinked up at them with a sense of both shyness and curiosity. Jisoo sent the pair a small smile before nodding his head, he felt fine, he hadn't had a panic attack or a nightmare for over four months and he finally felt safe enough to go further than a few kisses.

"I'm fine," the soft voice and sweet smile they received from the younger had them grinning before leaning down to kiss him passionately. Seungcheol was the first to shed his shirt, followed by Jeonghan, it was when they began unbuttoning Jisoo's shirt that the younger grabbed their wrists.

"You okay? We can stop whenever you want too okay?" Seungcheol murmured, kissing the boy sweetly on the lips before pulling away to give him some space. Jisoo breathed slowly and placed the hands of the pair back on his shirt.

"I'm okay... Just... P-Please don't say anything." The words confused the two oldest until they'd fully unbuttoned the boy's shirt. They were met with three very distinct scars on the boy's torso, one below his collarbone, one on his ribcage and the other at the top of his stomach.

Jisoo watched as the pair moved to trace their hands across the scars, looking away once their eyes landed back on his. He swallowed back any fear as his head was gently turned to face the pair above him, their eyes filled with concern and care.

"It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed. I have a scar too." Seungcheol spoke up quickly as the youngest looked as if he were about to cry. Jisoo watched as the oldest turned slightly to show a scar on the back of his shoulder. "I fell onto a coffee table when I was young and the glass surface shattered."

"I have scars too, I have one on my leg from when I went swimming with my parents when I was younger. I slipped on the diving board and hit my leg on the side of the pool." Jeonghan added his own accident, rolling up his trousers to show the small scar on his calve.

"They're both stupid ways to get scars, how you got yours can't be more embarrassing than that." Jisoo felt his chest tighten at the words, memories of that day flashing in his head, the pair above him laughed fondly before they noticed the distraught look on their lovers face.

"Shua?" The pair stopped laughing as soon as they realised their partner was beginning to have a panic attack, Seungcheol cursed and moved to get the boy to sit up before doing their usual technique of calming him down but it didn't work.

Jisoo couldn't breathe, the fact the pair laughed at their own scar stories just filled him with a sense of dread. He couldn't tell them how he got his own, he couldn't tell them the truth of why he only just removed his shirt in front of them and why he couldn't accept drinks from them. He didn't want them to laugh at him.

"Jisoo? Jisoo focus, just focus on us alright? Copy how we breathe." His eyes flicked back up to his lovers, seeing them watching him with so much care and concern gave him a sudden burst of confidence. Even though he was scared, he also knew how much the pair loved him and cared for him.

So he focused and as soon as he could breathe properly once again, he opened his mouth.

"I-I was raped." The words gave him a sickly sensation but also filled him with a small sense of relief, relief that he had finally told his lovers the real reason why he struggled to do anything without them.

"What?" The shock and horror on their faces were to be expected, however, Jisoo didn't expect anger to surface as well. He watched as Seungcheol got up from the bed and began pacing, cursing as he fisted his own hair.

"Cheollie... Please calm down." Jeonghan spoke softly, not wanting to frighten Jisoo anymore than he already was as they watched Seungcheol pace quickly back and forth across the room. The oldest barely glanced at them as he kept pacing.

"When did this happen Jisoo?" Seungcheol spoke up after a minute of heavy pacing, turning to face the pair still sat on the bed. Jeonghan had now wrapped a blanket around Jisoo as the boy had started trembling on the bed from his scars still being exposed.

"J-Just over a year before I came to Seoul." The oldest nodded, taking in the information before noticing just how frightened Jisoo looked. He quickly joined the pair back on the bed and pulled the younger close to give him a tight hug.

"You don't have to tell us any details, but I just want to know one thing." Jisoo nodded for him to continue. "Your panic attacks and phobias is it because of... That?" Seungcheol questioned, the younger didn't hesitate to nod as his answer.

"Why didn't you tell us Shua?" Jeonghan moved to sit beside the younger, rubbing soft circles on his back in a comforting way as Jisoo relaxed in the gentle touches of his boyfriends before speaking.

"I was scared, I've never told anyone. I tried to tell my parents once but they didn't listen. They just thought I'd been mugged and injured, they said it was my fault and I could never bring myself to tell them what really happened." The boy was sobbing at this point, his hand trying to block the noise as he finally broke down.

The pair pulled him close, pulling the covers of the bed over them to keep them warm as they laid on either side of the terrified younger. They didn't ask any questions, they just listened as the boy told them what had happened. He told them that he'd gone out with a group of his peers, he told them that they'd drugged his drink and dragged him out the club.

He told them that they'd stabbed him when he tried to scream for help.

Although Jisoo hated every moment of telling his lovers what had happened that night, the next morning when he awoke to soft kisses and a stack of pancakes, he knew he'd done well. He knew he had done the right thing by telling them the truth.

And he knew he'd found his true loves when the pair told him how proud they were of him for telling them the truth.

A few months slowly passed, Jisoo finally felt whole again. He already felt whole with Jeonghan and Seungcheol by his side, but after telling them what had happened that day, he felt free. He no longer felt burdened by his past, he didn't feel like he was being judged by everyone who ever witnessed his panic attacks because finally, someone knew.

The only problem since that night was that Jeonghan and Seungcheol hadn't made any move on him what-so-ever. He understood that they were just respecting his boundaries but he couldn't help but worry that it was something more and he was beginning to get insecure.

Jisoo even tried to seduce them himself, but he was inexperienced and frankly was terrible at flirting. It was one night when he came into the living area of their flat, only wearing his black briefs and a baggy jumper of Seungcheol's when he'd had enough.

The younger frowned when the only response was Jeonghan telling him to put some pants on before he caught a cold. Jisoo walked over and stood in front of the pair watching television with his hands on his hips.

"So after you find out I'm not as innocent as you thought you no longer want to have sex?!" The outburst stunned the pair who quickly turned off the television to address the obviously upset Jisoo. Jeonghan stood and wrapped his arms loosely around his waist.

"Don't say that! Of course, we still want to make love with you Shua." He spoke quickly, obviously upset with the accusation sent his way. Jisoo noticed the saddened look from the pair and rushed out an apology.

"I'm sorry for saying that, I just... Ever since I told you everything, you've both stopped trying to have sex and stopped touching me as much." Jisoo sighed, embarrassed that he had to explain his thoughts to the pair.

"Shua... We stopped because we thought you'd worry that we were pushing you to have sex. We don't want you to see us how you see those horrible people who hurt you." Seungcheol stood beside them, wrapping his own arm around the boy's waist.

"I'd never see either of you like that. I love you and I know you both love me too. I trust you two with my entire body and I want to move forward in our relationship." The younger murmured softly, leaning up to kiss them both on the lips. "I want to make love with both of you."

That was all the confirmation the pair needed to collect their lover in a tight embrace, Jisoo giggled as he was lifted by Seungcheol and quickly carried to their shared bedroom. Jeonghan shut the door before removing his own shirt, kissing Jisoo sweetly on the lips as Seungcheol removed his own shirt.

"Are you sure baby? If you want to stop just tell us." Jeonghan smiled fondly at the younger, chuckling softly as Jisoo leaned up to kiss him as a reply. Seungcheol moved over and hovered beside them both, smiling as Jisoo kissed him as well.

"I'm sure."

It didn't take long for the three to end up in their underwear, the two oldest were careful as they removed Jisoo's jumper and whispered words of praise as they slowly removed his underwear. Jisoo tensed up when Seungcheol moved his hand lower but relaxed as the pair showered him with affection and praise.

"Don't worry baby, we'll make you feel good." Seungcheol hummed, leaning over to kiss him sweetly before wrapping his hand around the youngers length. Jisoo gasped at the unfamiliar contact, having never touched himself, it felt strange yet at the same time, he longed for more.

Jeonghan leaned over to kiss Seungcheol, wanting to show love to both of his boyfriends before moving to lick the lip of Jisoo's length. The younger whined at the sensation, his hips bucking up as Jeonghan moved away.

"Calm down Shua, we'll get there." Jeonghan chuckled, pecking his lips before moving back down to engulf his length. As Jeonghan held his hips down, Jisoo felt a rush of anxiety flood him and he quickly used his hands to push Jeonghan slightly.

"Baby, you okay?" Seungcheol asked as soon as they noticed the boy push Jeonghan off. Jisoo nodded his head slightly but the nervous glint in his eye let them know that he wasn't.

"Do you want to stop?" Jeonghan questioned softly, running his hand through the boy's hair gently in the same way they usually did when calming the boy down. Jisoo shook his head slightly and let out a small breath.

"I-I want to do this but it's just... When you pushed my hips down and... Being on my back..." He let out a shaky breath, relieved when the pair just pulled him into a sitting position. He didn't feel as anxious sitting upright.

"We'll do this another way then," Seungcheol murmured, moving to sit on the middle of the bed before pulling Jisoo closer. The younger straddled his lap, feeling comfortable as he looked down at Seungcheol instead of it being the other way around.

Jeonghan understood was Seungcheol was attempting and grabbed the lube from the bedside table, he covered his fingers before moving his hand towards Jisoo's entrance. The younger watched him do so as Seungcheol rubbed his sides comfortingly.

The first finger didn't hurt much, the second produced a small burn but Jeonghan moved slowly and the praise he received from both his lovers had him relaxing and melting into the pleasure. Jisoo was soon moaning into Seungcheol's neck as Jeonghan thrust three fingers inside him, testing the boundaries.

"Are you ready for the real thing baby?" Seungcheol asked, releasing a soft moan as Jeonghan slid the condom on his aching length. He thanked the younger with a kiss before turning his attention to Jisoo who was taking slow breaths.

"I'm ready." He responded, bracing himself for the burn he'd receive. Seungcheol went slowly as he pressed his length inside the boy, stopping every time Jisoo would wince or whine under his breath.

Jisoo was soon fully seated on Seungcheol's length, shifting slightly to test how adjusted he was to the thick girth. Jeonghan watched with lustful eyes, slightly jealous of Seungcheol being so close with Jisoo but he admired the sight all the same.

Seungcheol let Jisoo set his own pace, groaning at the tightness wrapped around him. Jisoo felt a strong sense of pride filled him at the moans Seungcheol released and started to go a little faster as a surge of confidence washed over him.

Jeonghan stroked his own length, kneeling beside the pair as he mumbled praise to Jisoo and Seungcheol, leaning over to kiss both of them separately, swallowing down their moans. Jisoo moved one of his hands, wrapping it around Jeonghan's length himself.

The pair were surprised with his sudden confidence but melted into it, praising the younger for his bravery and for how good he was at pleasuring them. Jisoo reeled in the praises, soaking in the attention he'd never thought he'd long for.

It didn't take long for all of them to get close but Seungcheol didn't want Jeonghan to just have a hand job when he got the full thing, so he gently lifted Jisoo off his length much to the youngers dismay.

"Let Jeonghan have a turn baby," Jisoo nodded to the words and moved to climb onto Jeonghan's lap. The older smiled, capturing the younger in a heated kiss as the boy slowly sank down onto his throbbing length.

"C-Close..." Jisoo gasped out as he rode Jeonghan's length, Seungcheol pressed himself against the youngers back and thrust against his backside, grinding. Jeonghan groaned as the pleasure consumed him, moving forward to suck marks in his neck as Seungcheol began stroking the youngers length.

Jisoo came undone first, coating both Seungcheol's hand and Jeonghan's stomach. Next was Jeonghan who released when Jisoo clenched tightly around him. Seungcheol was last, finishing as Jisoo allowed him to thrust in-between his luscious thighs.

The three collapsed on the bed as soon as they'd finished, Seungcheol used a pack of wet-wipes to gently clean the cum from Jisoo's thighs, backside and length. Jisoo yawned as soon as his back hit the mattress, smiling as he was immediately collected in a warm embrace from his lovers.

"You did so well baby, we're so proud of you," Jeonghan murmured softly, pressing gentle kisses across the boy's face as Seungcheol pulled the bedsheets over their naked bodies. Jisoo blushed at the praise and laughed softly at the many kisses sent his way.

"Thank you for being so patient with me." He responded shyly, flushing as the pair responded by littering a mess of soft kisses and nuzzles across his face and shoulder. Jeonghan laced their fingers together as Seungcheol wrapped his arm loosely around their waists.

He still wasn't one hundred percent, but he was close, and with his partners by his side. He knew he'd be okay.


End file.
